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Although it seems incredible, there are many cases in children have good behavior at home and bad behavior at school. At times, teachers tell us about how naughty our children are who do not stop, do not obey and are answers in class. But, on the other hand, when they are at home they are polite and respectful. And it is normal that they can have ups and downs in their behaviors, but it will not be when their bad behavior is constant.
Children's behavior may vary depending on the context and the way they relate to their family members may not be the same as with other “actors” in other settings.
Children have very good powers of observation and know very well what can be done in each situation and how they can behave with different people and in different contexts. When they modify their behavior according to the circumstances, a conflict with the environment and with those who are in that environment is reflected.
This can lead to the situation where children with good behavior at home have bad behavior at school, a puzzling situation causing parents to immediately try to take action, but the first thing parents and teachers need to do is stop and think, understand the situation and find out what are the causes of this duality in the behavior of children.
- Different contexts, different limits. One of the great reasons why duality can occur is that at home they are too "soft" with limits and rules that are not very strict and that later in school the opposite happens: they are strict, demanding or inflexible. It is necessary that in both contexts the limits and the rules are clear so that they are clear that in case of breach of them there will be consequences for it. Thus, from both environments there must be coherence, constancy and consistency when applying rules and limits for an adequate result to be given.
- Frustration. When a child feels frustration, that is, he does not get what he wants, he can react in two possible ways: adapting or being aggressive. In relation to the previous point, there are many occasions in school when the child cannot do everything he wants at the time he wants. This causes them to misbehave as a way of protest and only find rest in situations and contexts of trust such as at home.
- Lack of necessary care. Children are often used to being the center of attention at home and when they arrive at school they find that they are not there. The little one likes to be of interest and if he does not succeed, it will be by doing something bad so that the teacher will notice him.
- Handling. The child increases his language capacity and with it manipulation. The child will learn that if he behaves well he gets "material" things that he wants from his parents and if he does not get it, he will misbehave in contexts where he has more repercussion to get his way.
It is very likely that teachers will contact parents so that they have a record of their child's behavior at school. Therefore, to reach a solution it is important that:
- The educator and parents work together to find a solution and for the child to learn to have good behavior both at home and at school.
- There is a consensus on how the care the child receives is positive rather than negative. Do not be strict with punishment, yelling or yelling, instead when the behavior is correct, it is when it will be paid attention.
- From both contexts be consistent, consistent and consistent.
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